Spent a couple of hours knocking out some secondary quests for Mass Effect. Saved a few dozen lives, came to terms with my horrific military past, that sort of thing.
Spent some time on the planet Ontarom finding some scientists. Turns out they were at the map marker labeled “Underground Facility.” That map, it never lies.
Let’s be clear here: I’m all about modularity in construction. If prefab houses wouldn’t get egged in any typical American neighborhood (and if typical American contractors knew how to build them), I’d be the proud owner of an aluminum and plate-glass box. Apparently the builders in Mass Effect think similarly, as OuterSpaceCo Inc. appears to offer one model of Above Ground Dwelling and one model of Underground Dwelling, both with one choice of layout, complete with semi-permanent crate-themed interior decoration.
Speaking of things that BioWare probably would have finished if they’d had the time and/or inclination (you’ll notice that there are a lot of these):
I had previously thought Eletania’s monkey colonies were pushing the parallel envelopes of crazy and lame, but Onteron has topped them with its native herd of — wait for it — horses with arms. I don’t know how else to describe it. As I remember it, they were essentially normal horses, but with human-like vestigial arms growing out of their general shoulder area. Two arms, kind of hanging there. I decided to dub them Tardicorns.
The game HUD also bracketed them with a “Talk” prompt, as if I could converse with these proto-magical creatures. Unfortunately, either BioWare glossed over the Tardicorn conversation tree in favor of polishing the voice acting (a completely acceptable decision), or Tardicorns are just jerks who like to ignore perfectly friendly spacefolk.
I smushed one on accident when I backed the Mako out of their valley. Can’t say I felt guilty. Stupid Tardicorns.